And as the expression says: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!”
We wake with a new day, hopefully with open minds and hearts. I would hope that our day is not determined by how mad we were yesterday.That was yesterday and as the song says, “And yesterday’s gone.” I say this because I’d like to think that I don’t care to carry a grudge for any longer than it warrants. I believe that it should have been resolved on the same day that the situation happened. Past is past, move on, look to the future.
Yet, I have lived with people who can hold a grudge for years. To darn near death. It’s sad. My mother got into a spat with her stepfather when I was sixteen. Seventeen years later, my mother was dying, so her sister asked her father to visit with my mother before she died. A few days prior to her death, he did. For ten minutes. And only because he was asked to. Frankly, he’d have preferred not, because to him, my mother had started it. She didn’t. It was a mild incident with my brother and one of grandpa’s dogs nipping at him.
Why do families do this to one another? Spite, jealousy, power? These are not words that should ever be used between family members. So, when something is said about or in reference to something I did, I want to know why and resolve it. I thought I had. But,
interesting to learn, it hadn’t. It continued, and the family member went on as if the conversation between us hadn’t been smoothed over. It wasn’t until after two weeks that I even knew he/she was still upset and telling everyone what he/she felt happened. Wow.
Second time I spoke with this person, I used very slow, very plain English and had a witness. I’ve learned that with this person, you have to nail the problem head on and with others around. And still there is no guarantee that he/she will be satisfied.
So, when you’re sitting around the dinner table, at a family gathering, at the long lunch counter, or in class, listen to how you explain things that you bring up. Someone is going to hear it ‘their’ way and you might pay for it. Fix it, then move on knowing that it isn’t your fault. Just do the best you can.
Never hold a grudge – it only burns the bridge down slower. But burn bridges, it does.
Have a great week.